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Bartholomew Smith: The Closet-Case
No. 4
Oh, how he stunk! Every night I would lay in my bed and hold my nose firmly against my pillow in hopes of blocking out the horrible smell. I had a monster in my closet. I wasn't frightened of him, for he was all but harmful; however, the smells that flowed from him could kill cockroaches. Usually he stayed hidden, but sometimes he would come out and ask if he could finish off my glass of water, or if I had any crackers he could “borrow” (as if they would be returned once consumed). Occasionally he would leave my room and roam around the hall, but he didn't stay out long. Bartholomew was scared of my mother. In fact, he was scared of all humans except me.
The monster in my closet was a big sissy. Never once, in all my years of knowing him, did he try to scare me. I don't know if he didn't want to, or if he just didn't know how, but he never did. Once he came out of my closet screaming. I was terrified. Then I noticed he was screaming in pain because he had stepped on the pointed side of a hanger. Ole' Bartholomew's voice was a mixture of Eyor from Winnie the Poo and Robert from Everybody Loves Raymond. When he spoke, it was as if he was the saddest thing alive. Even when he was excited it still sounded like his pet had just died.
My monster and I had many adventures, most of which were by accident. He was a paranoid creature who was always hearing things. He and I would constantly be searching my room for other monsters. Once a fly buzzed around my room and Bartholomew jumped back into the closet and hid under a stack of clothes. Here I was, a seven year old boy who had a monster that was a bigger scaredy-cat than I.
Bartholomew became a close friend to me. He was a good listener, and always gave me advice. It was terrible advice, but he tried hard until one day he was gone. I came home from school one day and ran to my closet to tell Bartholomew about my day, but he wasn't there. All i saw was a note that read:
Dear Michael,
I'm sorry I had to leave. The MPA [Monster Placement Agency] gave me a new location. I will always remember you and I will miss you.
Your friend,
Bart
The news brought tears to my eyes, but I knew it was for the best. I thought to myself how much I would miss my monster, Bartholomew Smith.
